That'll teach me to brave town on NY Eve in the future! Ok the company was great, don't get me wrong. It's just....well, London really - the cost, some of the people out there, the inconvenience of it all (travel wise) and to top it off, the weather. You could be forgiven for calling me naive, I take it squarely on the chin, it's a fair cop.
Having had a great experience in Levant the previous week with the same friends, was well up for some more quality mezze and belly-dancing. My stomach was now well grooved for fluffy hot pitta, smooth, creamy houmous with succulent chicken and lamb grills. Not to mention lovely ladies gyrating mere inches from us whilst we gaze on and gaup pathetically, trying not to oversalivate.
The evening started "well" - I was uncharacteristically early, so whilst waiting for my friends to arrive took a stroll around the local Soho streets and was offered drugs (X2), massages / peep shows (x3). OK - not unexpected obviously for the area, but I suppose I know partly why I don't venture out round there much these days.
Anyway - once we'd settled in, the restaurant dining area was tiny and not a patch on the previous incarnation of the residence, Abigails party. The 80gbp price tag for the evening's entertainment was a mistaken assumption of some decent food. But to be honest, if they served up the crap we got on normal nights, the place should have been shut down a long time ago. NY Eve is still the licence to charge outrageous sums for absolute bo-lax.
Worse was to come as their idea of "entertainment" was a silicone-enhanced (absurdly I might add) belly dancer (above) who couldn't dance for toffee, wielding some huge albino snake and wandering around the diners tables, trying to wrap the reptile around their necks. I wish it'd wrapped itself round hers. The woman at the adjacent table was literally shaking and hysterical, poor dear - all she wanted was a falafel. For some reason, she also thought it would be amusing, or perhaps secure her better tips, if she face planted every mans boat race squarely between those silicone orbs, which were by now were bit sweaty. Ew. I think this girl was looking to work in spearmint rhinos and missed the intended venue by a postcode or 2.
Being determined to have a good time, we kept the drinks coming, and rang in the new year, with a good ol toast and count down on a fuzzy TV screen, where big ben was barely audible let alone visible. The dancefloor was a veritable mass of writhing bodies bathed in amsterdam-style seedy red light, so naturally we remained in the relative comfort of our seats to see the evening out. The total cost of the venue, "food" and drinks was a cool 100gbp per head.
At 3am, the alcohol induced munchies set in again and off we went to the trusty ol Mayfair Chinese restaurant to polish off some duck pancakes and other lovely stuff. This redeemed the evening somewhat as we felt we ate like kings and queens (although anything admittedly tastes good at that time of night) for a mere tenner per head.
Bellies and spirits restored to their proper glory, we headed back to catch a night bus home which, after waiting 45 min, sadly only went as far as west hampstead, leaving me to walk the last 20 min home in the freezing weather and driving rain.
By 5am, I was tucked up in bed, preparing myself for the year ahead, thanking god that NYE only comes round once a year.....and after all that, I think it deserves to be a good one.
But despite all my bitchin - I must be getting old, I had a great night with my friends, reaffirming it's not what you do, but rather who you do it with (fnar fnar) - thanks guys for seeing in the NY together!
